spending

I'm getting ready to head to Austin this week for my third Noonday Collection ambassador conference.  As I look back over my years (has it really been that long!!!) with Noonday I see seasons of hard times and seasons of abundance.  Seasons where I felt alive and passionate and was so excited to share artisan stories with women and to speak about purchasing power and adoption and orphan care.  And then there are seasons where it's just plain hard work and no one wants to host shows and sales are low and I'm just not as into it.  Times where I think... should I really keep doing this?  Is it really worth it?  Am I really making a difference?  One thing I do know, though, as I look back is that God has called me to this for this specific time in my life.  I can honestly say that, and I know that He clearly and loudly confirmed that to me.  I realize that I've only told a few people this story of the details of how that happened but I wanted to put it in writing again as a confirmation and reminder to my soul.

 

Back in September of 2012, I had known of Noonday Collection for about nine months.  I was drawn to it and thought of becoming an ambassador many times but just didn't think it was something I had the time and capacity for.  As time went on though, I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was something I should do.  At the time I had finished Jen Hatmaker's book 7: an experimental mutiny against excess a few months before and was currently doing a little experiment of my own.  Instead of devoting a month to each area like she did, I committed a week to each of her 7 areas.  This particular week in September I was on the topic of "Spending".  I was examining the way I spent my money.  That week I only allowed myself to buy gas and groceries and that was it.  So no dining out with friends. No entertainment.  No clothing purchases or other shopping.  Just the basics.  As it turned out my interview/conference call with Jessica from Noonday fell that week.  At the end of the call I committed to becoming an ambassador and was finally confident with moving forward with that decision.  As I tried to fall asleep that night I started thinking about how I had failed the "spending" portion for that week.  With starting out as an ambassador I would actually spend a lot of money.  There was an initial investment and then I knew there would be money involved with investing in this business of mine.  It was ironic that I made this commitment during a week where I wasn't supposed to be spending anything.  As I tried to fall asleep that night I started to think about the word "spend".  All of a sudden part of a verse popped into my head.  "If you spend yourselves in behalf of...."  In behalf of what?!  I could not remember what came next.  My small group Bible study had been doing a study on Justice, and I remembered recently studying and discussing this verse with them.  I could not remember the last part of it though.  In behalf of....the poor, the needy, the hungry, the thirsty.  It was driving me crazy, and I had to know what it really said!!  I turned on the light and started searching through my Bible until I found it.  When I finally found it I could not believe my eyes.  Literally.  There it was.  Plain as day!!  "If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the desires of the oppressed,"  Hungry.  That was the word.  But what really blew me away was what I saw when I kept reading!!  "If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the desires of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday."  Noonday!  That verse that God led me to that night, that I got out of bed searching through my Bible to find, was Isaiah 58:10.....   the very verse that Noonday is named for. That confirmed to me that spending in this way was indeed His plan for me and that God was in this and I wasn't just going off on some whim becoming an ambassador.  I love how time and time again He uses His word to speak confirmation or comfort or encouragement to my heart in a way that only His Word can do.