this easter

This past Christmas was different for me.  Even more than other years I was aware of the fact that Jesus came to us as a tiny baby.  I saw my Savior coming into the world in the middle of the dark night as a newborn.  Not bursting on the scene with pomp and circumstance for all to see and take notice...but making his entrance in the middle of the night only known to a few on earth.  A tiny baby...needing the care of his mother....dependent on someone else for life...tiny and helpless.  As we celebrated the birth of Jesus this past Christmas I was more aware of these things, because my sister was pregnant with her firstborn son.  I saw the joy in her as she waited expectantly for his arrival.  I knew how excited she was to finally meet him and hold him in her arms.  I knew she had big dreams and bright hopes for his life. 

 

 

 

Fast forward a few months and now it's Easter, and that beautiful baby boy is no longer with us here on Earth.  And so...this Easter has also been different from those in the past for me.  With death still heavy in the air around here, I have moved through the past few days with many thoughts on death and resurrection.  At the funeral we sang the hymn It Is Well With My Soul.  It was written many years ago by a man who lost his children tragically.  These are my favorite verses. 

 

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

 

 

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

 

We praise God not because of what He has or has not done, but because of who He is.  We choose to trust Him even when the tears are still streaming down our faces and it's hard to breathe from the weight of it all.  One image you should never have ingrained in your memory is that of your baby sister holding a tiny casket in her arms with her newborn inside.  We are not okay with the circumstances, but ultimately we are okay.  On the night before Jesus went to the cross to suffer and to die He cried out to God saying "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."  Essentially Jesus was saying "If there is any other way to do this please step in now, but if it is your will I will go to the cross.  I trust you."  Jesus knew he was headed to suffer and to die.  Death is awful. It is a painful, and terrible, and heartbreaking thing.  Jesus chose to trust in the will of His Father at that moment despite the awful circumstances.  We do not like the way things turned out for Charlie....not one single bit....we hate death....but we do trust God in the middle of it all and we know that somehow He will use if for our good and His glory.  We still hurt and we still grieve and we still wish like anything that we could have little Charlie back in our arms and watch him grow up.  We know that Jesus is with us in our suffering and that God, the Father, knows the pain of losing His Only Son.  He identifies with our pain and comforts us in our hurting.  And we can even rejoice, because for those of us who follow Jesus, we know that death is not the end.  He has conquered death by the cross, and the story does not end with Good Friday.  Death is not the end.  Easter Sunday is the end.  The tomb is empty, because death could not hold Him down.  He has been resurrected, and that is what we cling to.  Our hope is not in this world, but in Jesus.  That is how we have hope in the midst of the darkest of days.  We know that Charlie is with Jesus and that one day we will be reunited.  That is what we celebrate this Easter.  Resurrection.  Hope.  Life.