true hospitality

For the past year or so God has been showing me new things about hospitality.  I mentioned some of that here in a previous post.  Changing my idea of what true hospitality is and what it isn't.  Challenging my previous ideas of what hospitality is.  Calling me to a deeper understanding of what it means to be hospitable. 

 

You see, for most of my life I've confused hospitality with entertaining.  I associated hospitality with perfectly planned showers, elaborate dinner parties, etiquette and manners....to sum it up being a Pinterest-worthy hostess who throws parties that are nothing short of perfection in her immaculate and beautiful home that is, of course, well decorated.  That's entertaining, but that's not hospitality.  Entertaining is about outward appearances.  Hospitality is a posture of the heart.  Hospitality is welcoming and inviting people in.  Entertaining is putting on a show for them. 

 

"The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved.  It's about declaring your table a safe zone, a place of warmth and nourishment."

                                ~Shauna Niequist

 

 

The heart of entertaining is wanting to be seen.  To gain attention and credit.  The focus is on me.  The heart of hospitality is just the exact opposite.  It's focus is the other person.  Wanting to see them and their needs.  To listen to them.  To nourish.  Hospitality is not about me or my home or my cooking, baking, decorating, or entertaining skills at all!  Hospitality is about loving and caring for someone else.

 

I find it interesting that the word "hospital" is included in the word hospitality.  I think this is key to understanding the true meaning of the word.  It's easy to think of hospitality as a way of putting our best foot forward.  Dressing in our best.  Making sure the house is in the best shape possible.  Bringing out the best recipes and the fine china.  Really we should think of hosting as more like caring for someone in the hospital.  Taking care of their needs.  When we are hospitable hosts we nurture and nourish and care for the needs of our guests.  Our homes become more like hospitals.  Places where broken people come to find hope and a welcome space.  A place where hurting people come to find relief.  A place where sick people come to be built back up.  This is the heart of true hospitality and of being a hostess.

 

I'm praying that God would make my heart and my home and my table one of hospitality.  That He would give me a generous heart that delights in caring for people and bringing them together around my table.  That my home would be a safe place....warm, inviting, and welcoming.  A place where people feel seen, loved, heard, and valued.  That it would be a place of true community, connection, and vulnerability.