i don't want to be frugal

So, some of you may remember this photo from my Bulgaria trip back at the beginning of December...

This was when I was trying to decide if I was going to buy the sweater from the lady or not.  We had a little time in Sofia before dinner, and there was a flurry of sightseeing, trying to buy pottery before the stores closed, and looking at all the handmade clothing and linens along the street.  I found this sweater and did end up buying it not thinking much of it at the time other than the fact that I thought I got a pretty good deal.  I ended up paying what is equal to about $12.  Soon after I got back to the States, I read this blog post by Jen Hatmaker.  Toward the end she talks about making sure that products we buy are not made courtesy of slave labor or chid labor, and she provides some helpful resource links.  One of these is a slavery footprint survey.  I took this, and I recommend taking it to open your eyes to things we can easily ignore as we live our comfortable lives here in excess.  Wow!!!  Now, this lady who made my sweater was not a slave.  She handmakes items to sell in the marketplace, but I began to feel so convicted for what I had paid her for all her hard work.  Immediately I wished that I could get on a plane back to Bulgaria, find her, and pay her a lot more for her work.  I mean I would easily pay way more than that for a sweater at a store here in the States.  And what I would buy here was probably made by a machine, not by hand,  or by the hands of a child slave who probably received little to no compensation for their work.   Ugh!!  That just sickens me!  To think that things I buy and wear were made using slave labor.  All of these ideas were floating around in my head and messing with my heart right around Christmastime.  Perfect timing right?  All of society is rushing off to empty their pockets(and then some) and fill their carts with tons of things they don't need and that will probably fill a closet or a Goodwill pile in a few months.  Material excess at it's finest.  Billboards, commercials, and ads were bombarding me full force with what my loved ones and I "needed" this season, while God was prodding me quietly with a different message.  There is a difference between frugality and stewardship.  I am beginning to see that one can be very frugal and still be a selfish, materialistic person.  I can be frugal...seeming to be so responsible with managing my money, but really I'm just letting go of the tiniest amounts so that I can keep more for myself.  Or, I can be a steward of the money that God has entrusted to me, even if it means sometimes paying more so that noone is exploited.  Stewardship is not about spending less, but about spending wisely and in a way that honors God and others.  Jen lists several websites and companies in the blog post listed above that are fair trade.  Some of these companies sell handmade items crafted by women rescued from sex trafficking.  Others employ vulnerable workers and empower them to provide for their families and bring lasting change to their communities.  This is how I first became aware of Noonday Collection.  Check out their collection of beautiful accessories.  I love their jewelry, and I love their mission and the stories behind each piece even more.  So, I could pay $10 for some cheap earrings from a giant chain store and hoard the extra money I would have spent, or I can spend $40 for earrings made by one of these artisans knowing that the money is going straight to them to provide for their family....knowing that this woman will be payed a fair wage for her work....knowing that now because of her employment she can send her children to school and put food on their table...knowing that she can be provided a safe work environment and won't be tempted to prostitute herself...knowing that a child is not being forced to make things for me without being paid while I save a buck.  I don't want to be frugal at the expense of others.  I don't want others to suffer and be exploited so that I can score a bargain.  I don't want to be cheap and continue to simply sit by and do nothing.  Is that really what it means to honor God with my money?  Would that be pleasing in His sight?  I don't think so.  I am so far from having this whole thing figured out, but my eyes have been opened a little and my heart has been pricked.  I want to keep growing...to be stretched...to be a little uncomfortable in this area.  I want to honor God with the money He has entrusted to me.  I want to seek justice for the oppressed in the tiny ways that I can.